There are times in your life when you finally “wake-up” from a fog you didn’t see or would not acknowledge. You might find yourself having an ah-ha moment that is going to propel you forward….you may also wake-up and realize you are in a place you aren’t too happy about (emotionally or physically). Earlier this week, I sat in the latter. I realized, that despite:
- Three amazing daughters
- A fabulous husband
- A business
I barely had a life. That’s right – while others would peer inside and say “oh isn’t she lucky,” honestly, there isn’t all that much there. Let me take a moment and say that I am not lucky, I crawled through hell to build what I have – but I digress.
I have been intently concentrating on making other people happy that I forgot to get a life for myself…crazy. I run around doing everything for everyone else, I think so they will like me. In the process I’ve seen to make everyone miserable. That’s right…my husband goes off to tennis I make sure I fill his water bottle, my daughter wants to take a road trip to see a college for the second time and I jump for her schedule, my step-son doesn’t have anyone to take him to get his drivers so I jump to take him, a ‘friend’ has a social media/seo question and I sit on the phone for hours with her (not getting paid).
While I have been happy to do these things I have noticed a few things – these people are unappreciative. That’s right – they may say thank you but quickly move onto “ok, what can she do for me next?” Pick something up at the food store, run a carpool, get me a new pen at Staples…sign this, write a check, answer another question.
Not being appreciated was causing me to be resentful – and as such I would then do more hoping someone would pick-up his/her selfish head and show some actual appreciation. But that never happened and I wound up a hot mess, with no activities or interests of my own and barely time or energy to do the crossword puzzle.
So I’ve taken some time this week and put some things into place for myself…her is what I am committing to:
- Daily meditation, gratitude, affirmations and bible reading. Weekly church.
- Nightly crossword puzzle
- One hour of reading per evening
- Tennis twice per week
- Exercise for one hour per day (tennis counts)
- Guitar for 30 minutes per day and a lesson twice per month.
I’m working on clearing and strengthening my chakras.
What I have noticed is that no where in my 2018 goals is there any room for drama, watching bad tv, video games, or wasting time. What I need to be accountable for, in a very gentle way, is building myself. This will set a much better example for those around me…I’ll be happier which is probably most important of all.