Brick wall background.

Boundaries

As I have maneuvered around in the world, I am often amazed how others think they can treat me.  How my time, ideas and intentions are somehow secondary to someone else’s.  How others can look into a part of my life, an event, or ask for a favor and then think they can somehow dictate everything about it…including how it impacts me…or what I want to do….or again, my time.

I want to have an event, which it is agreed is a good idea…but the location and the way I

want to go about it is just wrong – and oh, by the way, “I want this person invited as well.”    A friend asks me, at the last minute, to do a favor which requires a significant amount of time, and it needs to be done immediately…and I come to find out she just could have paid $20 to have it done without me involved.

I’m sort of stunned that when I put my foot down others perceive me as being a bitch.  Yet, they have no problem adjusting my schedule, plans and ideas to fit their own vision…or take ownership.  If I say, “I adore you, but let’s keep the plan as is” (that I came up with in the first place), then I’m told I’m being inflexible.

Is it success?  Either theirs or mines?  Like they need to attach themselves to me in some way.    I come up with a great idea and they are upset they did not – and therefore they want their stamp on it.  Or maybe they in some way want to attach to the success in my business – but rather than partnering with me to gain access they try to control it and then try to make all decisions regarding my expertise.  I’m not kidding, this has happened.

Why is it that they view me as a pound puppy just excited to get the call to help?  “Yes, pick me!  I’ll drop what I am doing and jump in…so that you will like me.”  Ahhh yes….there it is.

I know that there are others in the world that they would not dare say this to.  What gives those people a wall that others will not dare to scale?

Maybe with the boundaries I’ll get what I want….”great idea…I’m in…how can I help.”  Or, when they need a favor they know I will drop everything but also remember I have a life.  No, I don’t want the thank you gift you want to get me.  I want a wawa gift cert to send my kids for “Treat Yo Self” Friday – or flowers – I love flowers.

I need a wall…built of rebar, cement, bricks…and a whole lot of self respect.  But no bitchiness.  I’m not out to be a bitch or a control freak – its just that when it is my time and effort I’ll ask when I want your input and ideas – and when I don’t, then just tag along for the fun.

Off to start building.