So I’ve started moving a few things into TG’s home. I’m not overwhelmed by the prospect of moving…what? You would be? How hard can it be to clear out a home you have owned for 15 years, sell all the furniture and treasures, pack up yourself and 3 teenage daughters while sending one to college, all while continuing to build your business and sell your home? Let’s not forget three kids starting three different schools, in three different towns in two different states. Add to this blending families…and did I mention selling my house?
Actually, that is not overwhelming at all…what has taken my breath away, every few hours today, is that I have moved my desk into his home (our home?) and now sit in the office I will occupy for quite some time. I look around my new office space and wonder (while hoping to orchestrate most of it) what these next few months will actually look like for me.
Last week when I was here I moved some things into his closet – ski paraphernalia and some winter sweaters. I thought it was safe – I no longer need them, and then next time I do…well I will be living here. I wanted to take a small step, see what a bit of my ‘stuff’ looked like in his space…our space. Next to move in was my desk because the patio table I had been working on had to go outside for the season.
Over these last few months there have been times when I have sat for a moment (because honestly I only have a moment) and wonder, how did this even happen? How did I get this lucky…to have found him? To be at the point where we are now blending families and lives? At a time when we were both playing the “in 5 years we will make a serious move in the relationship” someone one conversation became the catalyst for planets aligning in a different way altogether.
I know quite well how it happened actually. I put myself so out there as I attempted to grab the ring on the carousel. I was not settling this time around and went after a relationship of my dreams. And while I went around a few times and grasped a bunch, the ring was finally mine – with his steel center core of integrity, parenting style that matched mine, and crazy zest for life.
So here I sit, my new desk in place – right now living on a bridge between my old life and new as I start to set-up shop on this side of the river. Still more “stuff” on my side. I also wonder when seesaw will tip..when will more of my treasures be here than over there?
True to our nature the move will happen slowly, in small steps. But as my power animal is the turtle that speed has done right by us in this relationship…slow…as we slowly allowed our hearts to open…dip in toe, send out troops…test waters…get comfortable. No grand swooping, not to quickly…very cautious – and perfectly us.
Hold tight to me my dear…this is going to be a wild ride for sure.