It was my first trip from TG’s home down to Philly…I was going in to start renting office space in the city. The plan was simple – he was going to drop me at the train station right near his office and pick me up from at the station on his way home. Simply and easy, just like our relationship.
We arrived at the train station and I was ready to be dropped off. I was puzzled as he started looking for a parking spot…and then even more so when he parked…I moved to completely baffled as he walked me up to the platform. He checked the schedule, confirmed my plan. He asked the only other person on the platform if the time was correct since the train was late. I was at the point where I was a bit horrified that he didn’t trust me to figure this out on my own. My inner Gloria Steinham roared…
I AM AN INDEPENDENT SELF SUFFICIENT WOMAN !!!
HOW DARE HE !!!!
What is this freakin’ non-sense that I can not be trusted to read a train schedule? For the love of all things holy I have navigated my way into NYC from all different directions…I could certainly handle Philly.
But I have learned…and yes it took 45 years…that when the inside voice is roaring because I am offended in some way, to take pause…and to keep my freakin’ mouth shut. Do not be insulted…something else might be at play. I gently asked him why he was staying…and he replied “I want to see you off and make sure you are ok.” And then I realized, this was love. He was showing me off on my trip…being a gentleman…making sure it was all in order. He wasn’t just going to leave me there on the platform. By the end of his explanation I was convinced that he was going to try to ask for the conductor’s credentials to ensure he was qualified (or her…oh Vicki I know, it could be a her).
Sure, I like my car door opened, a jacket when I am cold (even when you reminded me to bring mine). It is awesome when my bags are carried for me, my chair pulled out when I stand up at the table and when you stand up as well. And I guess on this, my maiden voyage from the sticks to Philly, I was given the royal treatment, which, as I am coming to learn is his standard treatment – and does shock me often.
No guy in the history of my existence ever attempted this. I was always just dropped off at the train station…no questions asked. “See ya later!” “Can you catch a cab home?” “Would you mind if I dropped you off early,” or “you will have to wait once your train comes in before I can come get you.” In fact I have found myself in cabs and trains (after flying no less) when others sat at home.
Never was I walked to the platform. Now in their defense as the independent roots run deep in me, maybe the others were fearful of questioning my plan or showing any signs of me having to be taken care of. But TG is different, he knows I can handle this myself…but what happened was all about him taking care of me in the most gentlemanly of ways. He doesn’t care if I get insulted, in fact, if I get insulted he gets insulted that I won’t let him take care of me. As you can imagine, we are quite a pair.
Don’t get me wrong…I am not a primadonna who is put on a pedestal in this relationship…THANK GOODNESS. In fact, with TJ I have to have crap together…pull my weight (and weeds), chip in, contribute, stand next to him in the world as a partner. Life will not be “done for me,” and it is a requirement that I have my adult things in order. In fact, adulting is one thing I am expected to do on a regular basis.
But then there are those times when he steps in, as the man in the relationship…to take care of me in some way…with advice, a gentle suggestion, or…just to ensure I am ok. I will certainly be on the look out for my ego or staunch independence getting in the way of this going forward. It is as caring as it is romantic and just the way I want to be treated in our relationship.
Oh, and just as luck would have it I was lucky beyond words TG walked me to the platform. As it turned out, I also needed $20 since out in the sticks they do not have ticket machines at each station. Ahhhh…city mouse…falls in love with a good ‘ol country boy…and her whole world changes…for the better.